Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

My "best of" list consists of every movie released in 2012 that I've seen. I have reviewed a number of films and will continue to do so in the coming weeks. This list will also be updated as I continue to see the movies I missed in 2012.

THE WORST











THE UGLY


46. Taken 2


44. The Grey


42. Frankenweenie

41. Project X



38. Wanderlust

37. The Campaign

THE BAD


36. Side by Side

35. Premium Rush


33. Goon

32. The Three Stooges


30. End of Watch


28. The Amazing Spider-man


THE GOOD


25. Paranorman

24. Prometheus: IMAX 3D

23. 21 Jump Street

22. The Avengers

21. Chronicle

20. Bernie

19. Safety Not Guaranteed

18. American Reunion

17. Men In Black 3

THE BEST


15. The Raid: Redemption (2011)

14. The Dark Knight Rises: IMAX

13. Argo

12. Shut Up and Play the Hits

11. Lincoln

10. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World


8. Beasts of the Southern Wild

7. Looper

6. Django Unchained

5. The Cabin in the Woods

4. Moonrise Kingdom

3. Seven Psychopaths

2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

1. The Master: 70MM


Saturday, December 22, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Frankincense [Side B]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

6. Frankincense [Side B]

Frankincense was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an incense used to symbolize a deity.

1. Christmas Unicorn [12:28]
2. Silent Night [0:45]

Total: 13:12


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Friday, December 21, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Frankincense [Side A]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

5. Frankincense [Side A]

Frankincense was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an incense used to symbolize a deity.

1. The Winter Solstice [3:23]
2. Do You Hear What I Hear? [9:14]
3. Joy to the World [5:25]

Total: 18:01


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Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Gold [Side B]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

4. Gold [Side B]

Gold was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is a valuable used to symbolize a king.

1. Mysteries of the Christmas Mist [2:10]
2. Christmas Woman [5:33]
3. Star of Wonder [7:08]
4. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing [1:51]
5. Ah Holy Jesus (Acapella) [1:00]

Total: 17:39


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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Gold [Side A]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

3. Gold [Side A]

Gold was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is a valuable used to symbolize a king.

1. 'Maoz Tzur' [0:42]
2. I Saw Three Ships [2:35]
3. Christmas Face [0:40]
4. Good King Wenceslas [4:18]
5. Alphabet St. [1:36]
6. Have Yourself a Merry Christmas [3:42]

Total: 13:30


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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Myrrh [Side B]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

2. Myrrh [Side B]

Myrrh was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an embalming oil meant to symbolize the mortal.

1. Ding! Dong! [0:56]
2. Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance! [3:50]
3. We Need a Little Christmas [2:03]
4. I am Santa's Helper [1:52]
5. Jingle Bells [1:19]
6. Santa Claus is Coming to Town [2:41]
7. Happy Family Christmas [1:23]
8. A Holly Jolly Christmas [2:27]

Total: 16:23


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Monday, December 17, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Myrrh [Side A]

Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

1. Myrrh [Side A]

Myrrh was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an embalming oil meant to symbolize the mortal.

1. Angels We Have Heard on High [0:46]
2. Put the Lights on the Tree [1:48]
3. It's Christmas! Let's Be Glad! [1:55]
4. Lumberjack Christmas / No One Can Save You from Christmases Past [3:22]
5. Sister Winter [5:05]
6. We Wish You a Merry Christmas [1:16]

Total: 14:10


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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Dexter - Season Seven

6.4
Dexter has always been the retarded cousin of premium channel television. We treat him like a normal show but deep down its clear it comes nowhere near anything on HBO's roster. Fortunately its not for lack of trying. This season aims to make up for six's meandering religious tirade that concluded with one of the worst "twists" of modern television and melodrama overblown even by Dexter standards.

But back to the positive. Season seven marks a fresh start and now that the writers set an end date for the series, we can finally start getting to the meat of the show. And now that Deb has seen the real Dexter, her scenes can start carrying actual weight. Its refreshing to get a new moral perspective on Dexter and her struggle with her brother's nature serves as a strong undertone. When things boil over in the season finale, it creates not only the most memorable episode of the season but the best conclusion in years.

The season's most interesting aspect details Dexter's relationship with his "dark passenger" and has been a long time coming. It is not dealt with until the final episodes of the season but carries great weight in the finale and foreshadows things to come. After all this time, Dexter allows himself to take responsibility for his actions and demystifies his ritual killing scapegoat. It is the most interesting thing that has happened on the show since Rita died back in season four.

For the most part, this season is no different from the latter half of the series in that the majority is badly written and useless to the core story. Another season, another love interest for Dexter. I appreciate the dynamic between two serial killers who don't have to hide from one another, but it leads to the season's most boring, cliche moments. The lowest of the low is easily Quinn (why the hell is he still on the show)'s relationship with a prostitute. The story of these two annoying lovebirds is soap opera dog shit played out with fake accents and the worst on-screen chemistry on Showtime (including all their late night softcore porn). The best part is, it literally goes nowhere.

Like the previous two seasons, I'm sure there is 6 episodes worth of solid material spread thin over each season's twelve hours. Thankfully the show got back on track and finally started delivering the dramatic goods built up for seven years. Best part is, the next season can only get better. With the end in sight, and a clear road ahead of them, perhaps the writers have saved the best for last.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Sinister


0.3
The worst movie of 2012. It is 90+ minutes of contrived dull fog that has to be the worst shot and lit movie of the year. Nothing is redeemable here. Bland, unmotivated acting moves daytime exposition scenes and ineffective nighttime scares to a “twist” ending that makes The Village look like Fight Club. The clunky cutout script is so dreadful, the film can’t even be enjoyed ironically. The high score is attributed to the fact that it simply exists.

That's My Boy

2.3

A new low for Sandler that everyone saw coming except for the star, who is quickly becoming Hollywood’s sinking ship. It is full of misplaced overly-crude humor that strikes hollow. There are no characters, only punchlines. There is no point covering the typical Hollywood tech specs, as they are in service of the humor. The biggest travesty of the film is a wasted Andy Samberg who reluctantly plays the straight guy to Sandler’s unbearable clown. In the best light, it is a 2-hour Budweiser ad.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

4.8

An immense disappointment when compared to the exciting movie promised in the title. Some overt style choices backfire and craft an image too full of contrast. Stark vampire hues make some scenes unintelligable. The few CG-reliant action set pieces could look nice in 3D but are few and far between. The film’s real fault is how serious the absurd concept is played. It is more concerned with the true history of Lincoln and has far too many exposition scenes for a movie named Vampire Hunter. This is especially unexpected coming from Timur Bekmambetov, the guy behind the 2008 fun romp Wanted. Still, the disappointing serious edge is handled better than expected. Performances are actually good here and the final action sequence is a fun 10 minutes. It is misguided but could have been a lot worse.

The Hunger Games

2.4

What could have played as a softcore American rip off of Battle Royale ended up a poorly-shot mess. It expected to make Harry Potter money off of a sloppy script and wretched tween acting delivered by the new vapid “It” faces of this generation. The epic scale expected of the next book-to-film cash cow is strangely restrained. Its a big budget Hollywood hit so expect shaky cinema verite complimented with a choppy, mashed editing style. 

The last half of the Harry Potter movies pushed the PG-13 kid movies to their extreme so its disappointing that none of the risque violence of the book feels as raw here. Without reading the book, I’m sure the movie is that much more incomprehensible, confusing and terrible. Sadly, there’s little hope for the coming sequels, despite a solid second book.

Piranha DD

1.1

The zany energy of the recent reboot is long gone here and from the moment the mishmash of scenes begins, so starts a downward spiral into the nexus of straight-to-video movies. All of but 8 minutes of the film are talking and when the gags do start, they are cheap and lazy. It fails to deliver on the little promise of horror thrills and nudity. Its plain to see no one involved in this film enjoyed making it or put any effort into it so why should we?

Trouble with the Curve

3.3

A family drama disguised as a baseball movie that only gets worse as it progresses. The winning concept of a grouchy, forgetful Clint Eastwood is stomped upon by a God-awful script that tries to connect as many dramatic cliches as possible. The last minute deux ex machina attempts to solve one of the many half-baked issues in an aimless, rambling script but sticks out like a sore thumb. Likewise, everything ends as it should in Hollywood and the stars literally ride off into the sunset, surely biting their tongues and counting their cash. It is as generic as they come but one of the best unintentional comedies of the year. 

The Expendables 2

2.2

An epic mess that bleeds money and lacks that threadbare splinter of intrigue to keep the plot moving. The unintelligible debacle of dialogue dribbles out of the beefy stars as they flex. It is also one of the most boring action movies to date. When the action finally does kick in, the questionable camerawork makes it impossible to get a clear idea of what is going on. A blunt Hollywood chill looms throughout, and is impossible to embrace, even ironically.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence 3D

2.8

Dynamic duo Mark Nevaldine and Brian Taylor’s big studio crossover  backfires into  a watered down studio movie that’s more eager to show off incompetent acting and dialogue than dazzling effects or engaging action. The effects do rarely shine and its refreshing to see Nick Cage slip into “beast mode” ever so often. Apart from one or two excellent camera gags and action tidbits, the shootouts and chases are just as bad as the rest of the film. The rest of the celluloid filth being an hour of convoluted plot explanations and horrendous child acting. Sadly, the cold truth is that the exciting new directing team took a huge misstep.

The Watch


1.4
The film had everything going for it but fails to deliver anything enjoyable or humorous. The solid cast are collectively flat and unfunny. Every lead’s worst side is magnified over the course of the film. Ben Stiller is grouchy while Vince Vaughn is at his most obnoxious. All signs point to a God-awful script that was reportedly rewritten multiple times. It shows as the tone shifts every 15 minutes. 

Mostly, the film focuses on the main character’s after-school-special problems, leaving very little for comedy or sci-fi. Richard Ayoade is the only player who delivers here and he is given minimal screen time. The film didn’t deserve the little attention it got and makes for the longest 80+ minutes of 2012.

The Main with the Iron Fists

2.0
A sad misstep from rap genius RZA tries its damnedest to look like a Kill Bill spin-off. A huge letdown in the year of letdowns, RZA’s film is ugly and incomprehensible. Everything, including the horrendously choreographed action sequences are shot poorly. The script makes no sense and only digs itself deeper as high-paid actors move in and out of the film, desperate to earn their indie cred and contribute to the joke. 

The biggest misstep is that the film fails miserably as a parody/tribute to Japanese cinema. There are few laughs spread throughout but I’m left wondering if RZA was in on the joke. The script is played ultra-serious and contains very few tell-tale film tributes or inside jokes. RZA’s leading performance in the film is downright disgusting. The entire film seems hellbent to make the rapper-come-director look cool. He is completely void of emotion and mumbles most of his lines. 

It’s clear that at some point, contributing filmmakers and actors realized the rapper was unwilling to compromise his misguided vision and followed through in making a deplorable film. Its a shame because on paper, this could have become a cult classic.

Lawless

6.4
If this flick proves anything, its that Shia LeBeouf can actually act. Of course, Tom Hardy acts circles around him but all parties involved end up coming off flat, mostly due to a lackluster script. All the pieces are in place for a functional period crime drama. Excellent actors, a hearty budget, good cinematography. The script aims to reach the complex heights of Boardwalk Empire, maneuvering a wide array of characters and moving plots. The human aspects behind all these intricate parts are weakly written and directed, keeping every part of the film from coming alive.

Despite poor direction, Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain and Gary Oldman (making a brief cameo) auto pilot their way through a film that is way too long and sluggish. The real surprise here is Shia LeBeouf, who gives it his all and, more importantly tones down his signature annoyances that made everything before this unwatchable. While I don't buy his character progression, he is really good at playing the underdog fuck-up and comes away with his best performance to date.

On the other hand, Guy Pierce flubs the devious villain, instead delivering a hammy, weird role that translates all of the script's problems onto screen. Perhaps another editing pass would help reel the film in, chop out unnecessary subplots and give it focus. The film really falls off in the last ten minutes with an unnecessary epilogue that does much more harm than good. It leaves a sour taste lingering and confirms the blunder that the film turns out to be.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Dead & Breakfast

1.4
Who doesn't love a good horror/comedy? Since Sam Raimi turned the genre on its head, the genre mash-up has become a staple of American cinema. But here, even the independent spirit of the film cannot distract the film's glaring failures. On paper, the film has all the right pieces; gratuitous gore, slapstick laughs, etc. In every instance of comedy or horror it fails miserably. The jokes fall flat, the dialogue is cringe-worthy and most of the gore is mediocre. Ultimately, it is a key example of the difference between a good bad movie and just a plain awful one.

An endless list of missteps makes this film unbearable to watch. First off, the musical narration is grating and does nothing more than comment on scenes that just passed. The choice of music is notoriously bad, especially when it's chosen to be "clever." This is the worst kind of scene manipulation and is so blatant its gross. Raggedy swing music and deceptions don't mix, even if its meant to be ironically bad. The best gore in the film occurs during a chainsaw scene ripped straight from Evil Dead II. But horrendous hillbilly music ruins otherwise impressive effects. The worst of the bunch is a death metal singer screaming "Time to kill!!" while the killer works. This equates to little more than high school- level filmmaking.

The characters and performances are loony and horrid. The script seems both too heavy and too light simultaneously  Meaning, every character knows or eventually figures out what they have to do but despite half the running time comprising of exposition, the audience cannot keep up. The dialogue is cliche and strives to be more hip than it actually is. The one liners are especially cringe-worthy and one has to wonder if they harken back to a cut scene because in the context of the film, they make no sense. At the last moment, the film even abandons its own logic for the zombie/ghoul/whatevers. Characters go out of their way to explain that they can only die via head shots yet the main villain is stabbed to death in the heart.

Every facet of humor in the film tries way too hard and falls flat on its face..on a knife. Abrupt character twists and switches are due to a formulaic script. The film's mainstays are as likable and engaging as the characters who are introduced in one scene and slain the next. The putrid nature of the film carries over into its technical aspects as well. Blatant stylistic and editing choices are unmotivated and unwarranted. The only cinematic saving grace happens in the film's opening moments. The slightly blown-out 70's horror film look opens the film with strong visuals but disappears moments later and never returns. 

Just another example of throwing everything "viewers want" into the mix and getting a product that fails miserably. Of course, every bad nuance could be filed under the choice to make a deliberately bad movie and I'm not "in on the joke." Even successful bad movies require good direction and effort on all fronts. Dead and Breakfast misses its own punch line, never catching on to the fact that its not half as fun or clever as it pretends to be.



Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Comedy

7.1
In theory, The Comedy is a very interesting movie to watch. It is the apex of ironic comedy, fitting subject matter for both Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim. Every scene presents the same aging New York City hipsters pushing the definition of meta, ironic comedy.The scenes themselves are only funny to the characters and become increasingly tragic as we spend more time with the group of friends. Thus, the question at hand becomes, "When does comedy stop and tragedy begin?"

Tim Heidecker actually delivers a very impressive, controlled performance, unexpectedly internalizing his every change. His character is intriguing, even more so when he is alone with no one to lampoon for. The character becomes more interesting and deranged as we begin to discover he is unable to stop being ironic. When the sincerity of life is completely absent, what is left? The film is noteworthy for raising these questions and presenting caricatures of what has become the sarcastic generation. The real tragedy is that the characters may not be far off from reality.

Stephen Chbosky - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

9.5
It is my belief that this book is this generation's The Catcher in the Rye. Not to overstate the book's importance but it perfectly captures the teenage isolation and angst through the eyes of a new generation. Charlie, like Holden is impossibly emotional and raw, more or less encapsulating the imitate persona of our teenage years. The reason for the material's success is its treatment of every character, no matter the age or gender as real people with meaningful emotions. Every encounter is instantly relatable, full of age-appropriate gloom and ironic, truthful humor.

We slip into Charlie's shoes with ease and instantly sympathize with him. In the big picture, not much changes over the course of his first year in high school. But by focusing on the internal voice of a teenager in a constant state of change, we recognize the importance in his universal journey of growing up. The novel grasps the feel of our fleeting teenage years through simple prose and concrete situations. It celebrates the time in life where The Smiths were the voice of reason in a crazy, adult-run world. The underlaying truths of society seem to shine brightest during our high school years, and amongst the confusion we can later admit to knowing nothing and everything simultaneously. The teenage years are an emotional place everyone strives and dreads to return to and with his novel, author Stephen Chbosky provides the map.

Bob Spitz - The Beatles Biography [Audiobook]

9.0
The sprawling biography reads like a narrative, making it both endlessly entertaining and vastly inaccurate. Most Beatles diehards have written off this joyful read due to its bias and embellishment. This is perfect fodder for someone willing to trade entertainment for accuracy. Anyone vaguely familiar with the history of the band will recognize a pattern aligned to the interests of fans. Paul and John are given extensive introductions and remain at the forefront of the band, while Ringo's backstory is minimized. Likewise, the majority of detail is devoted to the band's beginnings overseas. The last third of the book reflects the melancholic demise of the band and is considerably less detailed. The result is a lopsided book which shifts its focus as the band's career progresses. For instance, we spend hours on the band's first records but the seminal Abbey Road and Let It Be albums are merely glanced over.

The book is very enjoyable to listen to and Spitz crafts an engaging narrative. Alfred Molina lends his fitting, British voice to the story and successfully keeps the listener's attention. For a biography, the book is never dry or boring. I learned a great deal about the band and its raw early shows, which were toned down and honed in years prior. I also learned that both "lead" Beatles John and Paul were both the two most important songwriters of their time and complete assholes. They cheated on their wives, disregarded their families and made terrible decisions. In other words, they were human. The most interesting aspect of the book is its devotion to the story of the people behind the Beatles. In telling the simple story of four guys who started a band, the author keeps the human aspect of the grandiose tale at the forefront. Therein lies its greatest strength.

Halloween

8.6
A unanimous horror masterpiece is rightfully the titular film to watch on the holiday. The film isn't flashy or blood-soaked or all that scary. The performances are too, nothing special. Still, its influence stretches across the genre, essentially creating the slasher flick. Noteworthy take-aways from the picture include the killer point-of-view camera and a stoic killer that left room for the audience to interpret the horror as they saw fit. In my opinion, the importance of the film stems from the setting of the film and how it was photographed. The true horror of the picture is the fact that it takes place in an ordinary neighborhood amongst rows of sleeping suburban families. Decades later, Paranormal Activity will find success using a similar concept.

The driving force of the film's horror is how suburbia is photographed. The film is seemingly lit entirely by in-house lamps and overhead lights. There is something raw and horrific about a killer illuminated by the very same desk lamps and porch lights in your own home. In essence, it makes the horror palpable and real. This effect culminates when Michael Myers tears open a family closet, lit by a stark overhead lightbulb. We recognize this closet as our own. The horror has invaded the one place we least expected. Our homes.

Beetlejuice

9.2
This may be the last great Tim Burton original. Highlights of his later work including Big Fish and Sleepy Hollow don't come close to the gothic delight spawned by Beetlejuice. The established Halloween classic injects fun into morose concepts such as death and the afterlife. Alec Baldwin and Gena Davis do well to carry the film until the titular Michael Keaton shows up. In retrospect, the title character has very little screen time and makes expert use of it to turn in a timeless, mesmerizing performance. The art direction and cinematography is the peak example of Burton's "look" and a joy to watch. The creature effects and make-up gags (especially the main characters' voluntary dismemberments) stand alone as cinematic achievements. The picture bleeds creativity and has rightfully become a modern classic.

Dan Deacon - El Rey Theater, Los Angeles, CA, 10/20/12

8.7
Dan Deacon is tired. His LA date comes weeks into his America tour. He is not reluctant to harp on this fact and it showed in his performance. Normally, Deacon has an infectious live energy, able to enthrall an entire room with his one-man show. But on Saturday night he brought backup in the form of a full ensemble band. The live instrumentation elevated the music to grandiose levels but dulled the spark between solo performer and audience.

The venue itself is one of the loosest and most intimate in town, giving the friendly audience ample room to move and shake to the band's electric whirr. The crowd worked as an understandable unit, moving together but reflected the band's depleted energy. Compared to other live acts, the show was fantastic but lacked that urgent sense of community only a participatory show like Deacon's can muster. That night, as the crowd jumped and sang together, each revelation or catharsis happened internally and mirrored the tone of America.

As with any Dan Deacon show, the fellow Baltimore openers are quirky and awful. These include a bone-dry Powerpoint comedian who fell flat and a forgettable rock act. A tongue-in-cheek guitar-rap duo picked up the pieces and warmed up the crowd, despite everyone saving their energy. Seconds after  the Dan Deacon ensemble took the stage, the room's energy exploded with a vivacious rendition of "The Crystal Cat." Musically speaking, the band was both tight and sprawling at once, flying through an America-heavy set. The first half highlights include a "Crash Jam" dance-off that blew the pants off the album's noisy racket.

The night lacked the cohesive crowd participation necessary for Deacon to do his thing so he cut the night's activities short midway through, deciding to focus on the music instead. For those familiar with the magic this playtime can create, this was a momentous let down. The second half bounced between Bromst and America and even included the first half of "Wham City." "True Thrush" and "Lots" leveled-up the audience to frightening heights, reassuring LA that the band still had fight left in them midway through their tour.

"Of the Mountains" calmed the sweaty tribal circus but still faltered due to clunky audience participation. The encore rightfully consisted of the 20-minute opus "USA" and played out as expected. By this point, the band seemed weary of such a feat but were grounded by an excellent drummer. When translated live, the album's highlight is easy to lose yourself in. It flew by and before I knew it, the show had ended. Looking back, it was an enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night but failed to reach the genuine joy Dan Deacon shows are capable of. Then again, maybe the LA stop in his America tour represents the norm.


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Cloud Atlas

5.7
It may be wrong to review this monstrosity after only one viewing. I'm still unsure of where exactly I stand. I had to make a valiant effort to be swept away by the filmmakers' vision. Its epic scope is daunting and uninviting. In fact, every facet of this film seems to be designed to alienate viewers. The otherworldly cheesy dialogue is, at times, laughable. The pace wavers and parts can be horrendously boring. Bits and pieces are humorous or engaging but by the conclusion the relevance of certain scenes, let alone entire stories is cloudy if not absent entirely.

The cross cutting between stories and overall editing was outstanding, especially considering the success of the film's message depended on it. I knew going in that the only connections to be had were purely thematic, but even then I am still not entirely convinced of the thesis. Sure, each character goes out of their way to explain how "everyone is connected" and "we are all one" but by the conclusion, this was lost in the jumble. The pieces fail to add up to a cohesive whole and aren't anything special on their own. The film's roller coaster of dramatic tension creates a unique emotional map that helps to differentiate the film from any other.

Technically, the film is no marvel. It feels overtly digital and cold. The signature effects gurus under-deliver here, partly due to a dialogue-heavy story. The music and cinematography are also unsensational, making a point to keep the performances at the forefront of the film. Each actor varies in quality and do what they can with the material. Tom Hanks does his best but can't help but look like an idiot spouting lines like, "That's the tru-tru." Still, its nothing compared to Hugo Weaving's female nurse or green goblin. Like I said, the film shoots both its feet before starting the race. Also its worth noting that the whole "everyone is connected, good and evil balance out" doesn't seem to apply to Weaving, who is a constant villain in every story.

The gimmick where a pool of actors play multiple roles occasionally works and helps with the theme but is mostly a distracting game of "spot that actor!" It is an interesting choice but wildly overdone. The make up is very impressive, especially compared to Prometheus' Guy Pierce. The film is ambitious and worth seeing a second time (preferably for free and with subtitles) to get a better grasp on it, but I highly doubt that will change my opinion. This is the first time I can say the trailer for a film perfectly captured the essence of its larger counterpart. Instead of answering the big questions presented in the trailer the characters simply ask them over and over. The ultimate truth at the end of the film is a cop out to the three hours of questioning proceeding it. In other words, Cloud Atlas fails where The Tree of Life succeeds. It isn't atrocious but for some indeterminate reason, the film falls remarkably short of what I imagined to be the Wachowskis' grandiose vision.





Shallow Grave

8.0
Danny Boyle's feature debut oozes with style and weighty substance. It is an excellent thriller with engaging performances by all three leads working off a good script. The friendship between the three feels genuine, as does the descent into horror in the third act. Sequences such as Alex and Juliet's shopping spree breathe frantic bursts of life into the film and show off the filmmaker's trademark camerawork. David's descent into madness is the hardest sell of the film but actor Christopher Eccleston pulls it off beautifully.

The film's voyeuristic sequences are slick high-points and off set the 90's tone dominating the running time. It never seems dated but rather feels like a product of a specific time period. The action/thriller tidbits in the third act are letdowns, in terms of both story and style. The psychological tension lovingly built over the course of an hour is released fairly quickly and haphazardly. Thus the ending is a bit of a disappointment but ultimately speaks to the film's underlaying theme of the fragility of both the human spirit and body.

Skyfall: IMAX

6.9
Bond is back! Kind of...well, not really. It wouldn't be fair to say the film is flawed from the start. The opening action and credits are the best the film ever gets. The train sequence is nothing short of exquisite and is followed by the best title sequence this side of Goldfinger. The extensive animation tricks even boost the mediocre Adele song into listenable territory. From then on, the film tries its damnedest to counteract its label as a Bond film. But technically, the film nears perfection. Roger Deakins' digital photography is beautiful to look at, especially in IMAX.

Many compare it to Batman Begins in that it shifts the franchise to a new direction that favors realism. This approach succeeds to a point but damages the film when substituting grandiose action sequences with overly-dramatic exposition. The main difference between Batman and James Bond is Batman can be stripped of his comic attributes and still function as an enjoyable and interesting character. Bond, on the other hand is hardly anything without his trademarks.

Skyfall favors the portrayal of "James Bond, the man"  rather than the "character," continuing Casino Royale's expert reinvention. Trouble is, it renders much of the film's first act useless, rehashing previously-established character flaws. Its refreshing and new to see 007 rock a half-beard, get wasted and fail to hit a target but still unnecessary. Once James Bond has a wash and a shave, the film finally feels like its kicking into gear, an hour too late.

The entire premise revolves around M. The female version of the character, played by a stuffy, Brittish Judi Dench has appeared in less than a third of the series. Her character exists solely to dish out Bond's latest mission and scold him when he's done too much damage. She's exposition incarnate. So it's only fitting that an entire film be devoted to a character who chocks up less than an hour of screen time throughout 7 films. The audience is expected to care about this character when in fact, she is one of the weakest parts of the franchise.

By the time Bond encounters the film's dastardly villain (in a round-about, nonsensical way) the film is half over. But there is a glimmer of hope in Javier Bardem's scene-chewing performance. He is eccentric, fun and best of all, has worthwhile, grounded motivation for enacting evil. The perfect microcosm for the film's attempt to blend realism with franchise eccentricities. Unfortunately, he adheres to the fatal flaw of the film.

From start to finish, Skyfall only goes halfway Bond. Moneypenny, Q, and other Bond figureheads are brought into the current "realistic" period alongside the essential gadgets, cars, and music. Q and his gadgets are not alluring or engaging. The film's Bond girl is on screen for less than 10 minutes and falls completely flat. The action (aside from the opening) is delivered in small bursts that would fit in any of the Bourne series if they weren't so ordinary. Its maddening to think that an essential series in the action genre is taking cues from its own copycats.

Bardem's villain fails to do anything worthwhile after a solid introductory speech. The whole ordeal reaches its boiling point as the second act concludes. 007 triumphantly revs up his Aston Martin as the Bond music kicks into full swing. The promising snippet is upended moments later when gunfire destroys the parked car. Instead of a car chase, we are treated to the car pulling out of a garage, parking, and getting destroyed. How rewarding.

Comedian Patton Oswalt once said, "I don't give a shit where the stuff I love comes from. I just love the stuff I love." The third act of Skyfall concludes in a house in the middle of the English countryside, the site of James Bond's childhood. I can't think of a more anticlimactic setting for an action film. Even as a helicopter attacks our heroes with gunfire, the film drags. Conflicts resolve exactly as you'd expect. Skyfall isn't a bad film but it is a bad Bond film. The final moments of the film rehash more Bond treasures from the past. Hopefully, in the next film they will actually come to fruition.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Spinning Plates

6.4
The food-centric documentary centers around three different restaurants, all various degrees of interesting. The driving force of the film is Grant Achatz and his Chicago eatery Alinea. A world famous chef diagnosed with tongue cancer creates perfect dramatic tension but thankfully the film does not dottle on what could easily become documentary passe. Instead, we are taken into the exciting world of food experimentation inside one of the best restaurants in the world. The story could easily fill a feature-length documentary and is dragged down by its two generic companions.

The film maintains a rigid pace throughout, devoting equal time to each restaurant. Because the other two segments are nowhere near as interesting as Grant's, the film suffers for its democracy. Iowa's Breitbach's is a community-centric restaurant that moved from a troubled past full of bad luck to a plateau of easy living. This story's drama happens entirely in flashback, while the owner tearfully reminisces over the restaurant's multiple destructions. Not only does this weaken the film but the remaining segments on Breitbach's lack drama in their depiction of Iowa's way of life.

The final segment revolving around a small Mexican family joint, La Cocina can be taken at face value. Sure, I sympathize with the struggling Mexican family and their troubles, but the story offers nothing new or interesting and ends up being, for better or worse, a sob story. The overall film is a well-made, evenly-paced look at various food cultures across the country. It doesn't rank with the best of them, but is still interesting.

Answers to Nothing

0.2
The film is exactly as useless as it sounds. Taking advantage of the ancient movie myth that an audience should generally care about other people's problems if they are relatable, the film is a mess. Mental illness, senile parents, drug addiction, blah, blah, blah. We've seen this movie a thousand times before and like its predecessors, it offers no answers to its various real world problems. Sympathetic characters with sympathetic problems are neither engaging nor fulfilling. The film's only saving grace is Dane Cook, in his first serious role, who unknowingly delivers his finest comedic performance to date in a film.

The Other Dream Team

3.9
The independent documentary tells the story of the 1992 Lithuanian basketball team and their struggle to overcome. Despite an original story, the doc feels very run-of-the-mill. It follows a very loose structure and is bogged down with exposition on the country and its affairs. It is important to give the story proper context but not so much that it distracts from the narrative flow. Technically, the film is lacking. The dialogue isn't properly mastered and often clips and the score is generic and schmalzy.

Another unexpected flaw relates to the filmmaker's choice to focus on specific members of the team. On the surface, this seems like an excellent idea that could bring humanity to a faceless group of people. In execution, each subject isn't given enough screen time to develop, leaving every player indistinguishable. The film is an OK documentary with rudimentary flaws. It never really captured my attention and should be skipped, especially considering the vast number of sports documentaries that tower over this one.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

How to destroy angels_ - An Omen [EP]

6.8
The unthinkable has happened. If How to destroy angels_' new series of songs is any indication, Nine Inch Nails maestro is finally happy. At least as happy as a goth superstar can get. The male half of the married duo's band has made a decidedly significant gap in his musicianship since putting his calling card on the shelf in 2009. Three years, two soundtracks, various singles and upcoming collaborations later, Reznor emerges properly with An Omen.

"The beginning is the end and keeps coming 'round the bend." One of the first things Reznor utters on this EP loops back to the finality of his 2009 performances. It was clear NIN, like the Who and Jay-Z before them wouldn't disappear after their "final" tour but still, fans knew 2009 marked the end of an era. The brilliant Social Network score and its bloated companion score to Dragon Tattoo painted a picture of a man settling. Soul-crushing synths and yelps of anguish were replaced with gentle orchestration and the overall sound of decay. Does the transition continue with An Omen? Yes and no.

One of the first noticeable aspects of the band's second outing is the overwhelming calm inherent throughout. "Ice Age" is haunting, ominous and easily the most beautiful thing the band has ever recorded. I get the feeling that the duo behind Angels have traded pain in isolation for shared loneliness. The latter is no less depressing and reflects music that fits right along side "The Fragile" or "La Mer." But there's an inner warmth to the new material, proving there can be an upside to eternal darkness. There are plenty of highs and lows throughout the EP's 32 minutes but it lacks the forward momentum of the original EP. The new EP unfortunately also dips into boring electric territory towards its conclusion.

If nothing else, An Omen reassures us Reznor has not gone quietly into the night. It is nowhere near a proper return but serves to bridge the gap perfectly between his subdued movie soundscapes and a new era of industrial rock Gods Nine Inch Nails.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Major Lazer - The Observatory, Santa Ana, CA, 10/18/12

9.3
It's 1:30 on a Friday morning and I'm trudging out of the Observatory, covered in sweat. Question is, does more of the sweat belong to me or the half-naked girls bouncing along side me? Such is the nature of a Major Lazer show. The venue itself achieves near perfection, just as long as you get there early enough to snag a spot on the tiny dance floor. I was fortunate to do so and watched as the Observatory filled up with underage girls, drug-addled teens and plenty of PBR-touting hipsters. The majority of whom didn't think twice to blow their dance nut on the first 3 hours-worth of shitty DJs.

Even the near-sighted half of the crowd whipped into shape once the dynamic duo and their posse of scantily-clad hype women blasted onto stage. With all due props to Girl Talk's hall of fame house party, Major Lazer 's show is a tour of duty. Both acts feed off of and match the crowd's energy but the Major demands you move for 90 minutes straight. For the price of admission you are enlisting in his army of excess. The dynamic duo work their assess off to make each night unique and unforgettable. Girl Talk's pounds of confetti and toilet paper is traded off for charisma, showmanship and sheer force.

The stage show is also not without its gimmicks. The aforementioned hype girls perform sexual gymnastics and show the audience in champagne and Major Lazer dollars. When the audience adjusts to the sex thrown in their face, they up the ante, demand every audience member loose their clothes. When everyone is friendly with each other, every attractive female is brought on stage to strut their stuff. Not to be outdone, the Jamaican beauties return to summon a lucky guy in the audience, strip him down and give him the lap dance of his life.

The Major monicker fits all too well. Each song trumps the last and both members urge you to kick it up a notch every other minute. The concert eventually becomes an all out war against yourself and fellow soldiers to never stop moving. Its absolutely bonkers and over in a flash. Not only are these guys two of the hardest working performers out there, they have successfully crafted a show that one of the seven wonders of the modern music scene. I will gladly follow Major Lazer into battle any chance I can get.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Bullitt

5.6
The well-known car chase blowout is the definitive peak of the film, surrounded by an hour and 40 minutes of bloated melodrama. The editing Oscar was well deserved, even if it was due entirely to the car chase. Performances are very strong and there is a realistic style to the whole endeavor that feels very 70's. It is hard to connect to the characters when the script is more focused on being "cool." Things pick up a little with the climax but can't compare to an exhilarating ten minute car chase that spawned countless copycats.

Brave

4.7
Pixar's latest effort sadly proves that the animation titan can make a bad film. Kid-centric Cars movies aside, Brave is easily the company's worst film to date. If nothing, it proves that they've finally nailed hair animation. The gnawing emptiness looming over the film may be due to the last-minute change in directors. I understand it is a mother/daughter story at its core and some of its impact may be lost on me.  On the surface, all the pieces are there but they fail to add up to a decent story, let along something Pixar-worthy.

Worst of all, the film never lives up to its title. Pixar's first female protagonist Merida is half strong female warrior and half typical teenage girl. More power to Pixar for creating a character half their audience can relate to (the other half for a change) but sadly she never rises to become the hero she is set up to be. The film's fatal misstep relates back to this character flaw in that every set up fails to deliver. This results in a strong first act that crumbles as it progresses. The established will-o'-the-wisps are never really brought to fruition, remaining reminiscent of video game markers. The changes in the characters are very weak and unmotivated and happen because they must at that point in the film. It goes without saying that technically, the film achieves perfection. But whether or not a directing change is to blame, the film falls entirely flat.

Ted

5.5
You get exactly what you see here. Re-hashed dick and fart jokes from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane. Aside from bringing anything new to comedy, it functions well and hits all its marks. Romance, action, comedy; this one's got it all. For a story about a talking bear, the film itself is rather bland. Some jokes completely miss their mark (creepy father and son duo) but some expected one-liners are chuckle-worthy. All the main players pull their weight and prove that MacFarlane is a competent director. The bear animation stands out as the film's most noteworthy achievement, really bringing the R-rated ticket bait to life. The film relishes in straightforward comedy and spends its running time playing it safe. A middle-of-the-road movie that doesn't ask for much and doesn't give back much in return. And for most, that's just fine.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Savages

5.4
Oliver Stone wants to be cool again. His latest film, masked underneath hot new talent, sleek photography and a crass script is a run-of-the-mill popcorn flick. At first, it seems like a vehicle for his political thoughts on the marijuana industry. This is quickly dulled by a weak story that's too flashy and convoluted for its own good. The end product is the cinematic equivalent of a 40-year-old trying to blend in with the 20's crowd at a night club.

No one actor really stands out. Old go-to's John Travolta and Benicio Del Toro are on autopilot here but still manage to outshine their young-Hollywood co-stars. For the most part, the entire film feels impersonal and cold. At 131 minutes, it overstays its welcome and doesn't manage to say much with all that time. The editing is sleek enough to feel modern but never devolves into spastic Bourne territory. The cinematography is the best part of the film, crafting a Southern California that really "pops." The flick nails the market of empty drama but is a far cry from a passable Oliver Stone picture.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Kendrick Lamar - good kid m.A.A.d city

9.4
Its about damn time a rapper fully committed to the "concept album." Amidst the contemporary scene filled with blunt smoke and dubstep crossovers, Kendrick Lamar turns the clock back to the early 90's and (gasp!) weaves a cohesive story! Hints of Tupac, Ice Cube, Kanye West and every notable rapper of the past 20 years pop up throughout Lamar's ambidextrous flow. The real treat is, even after wearing his influences on his sleeve, the album still could only have come from Kendrick. Contrasting the refreshing riffs from the Clinton era ["m.A.A.d city (part 2)," "Compton"] the majority of the album is akin to the freshness of Kanye's debut. At its best, Lamar's origin-story LP marks a new direction in hip-hop.

Thankfully, the album avoids most of the pitfalls of any rapper's auto-biography. All the ingredients of ghetto life are present but tired concepts like shootouts, 40's and bitches are turned upside down through Lamar's unique point of view. Every blunt hit and party is seen solely through Kendrick's eyes, building a strong character and a vibrant, detailed story. The creative device of videotape interludes index the album's mosaic of Compton and maintain the LP's stone-faced seriousness. Lighter moments peek out here and there to remind listeners that any life, no matter how ghetto-centric isn't all doom and gloom. One of the album's highlights, "Backseat Freestyle" contextualizes Lamar's chest-beating rhymes as the character's first freestyle. Thus his hubris chanting "Damn I got bitches!" actually feels endearing.

Overall, the album paints a bleak picture that, for all intensive purposes is real as fuck. Kendrick censors names and fills the gaps between songs with tape-recorded slices of ghetto life. Featuring characters we are all familiar with through pop culture, the skits are ridiculously well-performed. Equally overdramatic and off-the-cuff, they feel surprisingly genuine. Herein lies the key to the album's message of redemption, which wouldn't work so well if it wasn't so damn real.

The transformation of rap music in the last decade is mainly due to the over-exposure of the Internet. When anyone can make a career out of rhyming, newer artists strive to set themselves apart using bizarre studio techniques and one-of-a-kind personalities. Enter the Danny Browns and Odd Futures who justify their existence with off-kilter flows and in-your-face personas. Kendrick Lamar message-driven music overshadows his fellow newcomers by not letting his unique voice outweigh the enjoyment of listening to his music. Lamar does occasionally falls victim to this pitfall and alienates his listeners. "Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe" and "Sing About Me" feature competent verses that are slaughtered by annoying, unbearable choruses.

The puzzling choices in a few of his cuts don't overshadow the fact that is easily the best rap album of 2012. It doesn't come close to comparing to the front-heavy disappointment of Kanye's Cruel Summer. Compared to that, the production is refreshing and straightforward. Lamar's lyrics can hold up on their own. Its too early to tell if good kid, m.A.A.d city will stand among the Chronics and the Reasonable Doubts but compared to every other high profile release of the year, it's a breath of fresh Compton air.


Wednesday, October 31, 2012

The Nightmare Before Christmas

9.5
The stop-motion animated feature is a modern classic fit for both Halloween and Christmas. Much of its charm derives from the hand-made feel of the animation, which is far more textural than anything computer-generated. Similar stop-motion films like Corpse Bride and Coraline were touched up using computers, and feel stiff, lacking the life present in every semi-perfect frame of Nightmare. The idea and execution here is simple and effective. Each character of the ensemble cast gets a moment to shine. Thankfully, Disney's influence isn't as strong as Burton's and the resulting film feels more mature.

That's not to say the pacing suffers. At 75 minutes, the film flies by and I wish some characters and plot lines had more time to breathe. The underlaying theme embracing individuality and self is interwoven into the plot and strengthens the film upon multiple viewings. The songs range from classic to mediocre and the quality dips a bit in the middle with some of the lesser songs. The first couple of numbers make for a perfect first act full of ear worms that have since become generational staples. This is easily one of my favorite animated films and a holiday classic, stitches and all.

The Flight of the Phoenix

7.4
It's unfortunate that many stars' prominent hits overshadow their lesser work. Case in point, the 1965 adventure The Flight of the Phoenix. It is in no way any of the actors' best work, but an enjoyable ride nonetheless. James Stewart and Richard Attenborough are obvious stand outs, excelling in many scene-chewing dramatic bits. Hardy Kruger is the lesser-known stand out. The face-offs between his character and Stewart's are some of the most memorable. The best dramatic scenes are saved for the last act, where the pace thankfully quickens.

Running at 2 hours and 22 minutes, the film is massive. In attempting to tell a conventional adventure story on a massive scale, the film flounders as often as it flies. There is just too much movie here. The majority of which involves a long list of obstacles the characters brave in order to survive. They all add dramatic tension here and there but never amount to anything more. A sexy mirage in the desert, a stand-off with radiers; any number of these can be cut. The subtractions could make for a leaner, more enjoyable film. The cinematography and sound are solid but nothing special. It is a strong adventure film with an outstanding cast that will leave you as weary as the stranded characters by the time its over.


Suspiria

8.7
Less of a narrative and more of a work of art, Dario Argento's cult masterpiece is a thrill from start to finish. Upon the first viewing its hard to comprehend the psychedelic, vivid visuals. It will surely alienate the passive audience, who expect a liner narrative. As a film, it switches from eye-catching to tedious. The performances are very well done but can't stop lulls of soft-spoken dialogue and slower pace. The gorgeous look is art directed within an inch of its life, awash bathed in some of the craziest light ever put on film.

This difficult visual feast ends as suddenly as it starts, making the whole ordeal flow like a visceral dream. Apart from the winning cinematography, the score, performed by horror aficionados Goblin is glorious. It fits the mood perfectly, completing a singular experience of cinema. The same haunting pieces are overused and do get waring after a while, but are effective nonetheless. Puzzling and bizarre more than its scary, Suspiria is on the short list of definitive horror classics.