Sunday, December 30, 2012

2012: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

My "best of" list consists of every movie released in 2012 that I've seen. I have reviewed a number of films and will continue to do so in the coming weeks. This list will also be updated as I continue to see the movies I missed in 2012.

THE WORST











THE UGLY


46. Taken 2


44. The Grey


42. Frankenweenie

41. Project X



38. Wanderlust

37. The Campaign

THE BAD


36. Side by Side

35. Premium Rush


33. Goon

32. The Three Stooges


30. End of Watch


28. The Amazing Spider-man


THE GOOD


25. Paranorman

24. Prometheus: IMAX 3D

23. 21 Jump Street

22. The Avengers

21. Chronicle

20. Bernie

19. Safety Not Guaranteed

18. American Reunion

17. Men In Black 3

THE BEST


15. The Raid: Redemption (2011)

14. The Dark Knight Rises: IMAX

13. Argo

12. Shut Up and Play the Hits

11. Lincoln

10. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World


8. Beasts of the Southern Wild

7. Looper

6. Django Unchained

5. The Cabin in the Woods

4. Moonrise Kingdom

3. Seven Psychopaths

2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

1. The Master: 70MM


Saturday, December 22, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Frankincense [Side B]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

6. Frankincense [Side B]

Frankincense was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an incense used to symbolize a deity.

1. Christmas Unicorn [12:28]
2. Silent Night [0:45]

Total: 13:12


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Friday, December 21, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Frankincense [Side A]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

5. Frankincense [Side A]

Frankincense was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an incense used to symbolize a deity.

1. The Winter Solstice [3:23]
2. Do You Hear What I Hear? [9:14]
3. Joy to the World [5:25]

Total: 18:01


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Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Gold [Side B]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

4. Gold [Side B]

Gold was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is a valuable used to symbolize a king.

1. Mysteries of the Christmas Mist [2:10]
2. Christmas Woman [5:33]
3. Star of Wonder [7:08]
4. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing [1:51]
5. Ah Holy Jesus (Acapella) [1:00]

Total: 17:39


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Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Gold [Side A]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

3. Gold [Side A]

Gold was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is a valuable used to symbolize a king.

1. 'Maoz Tzur' [0:42]
2. I Saw Three Ships [2:35]
3. Christmas Face [0:40]
4. Good King Wenceslas [4:18]
5. Alphabet St. [1:36]
6. Have Yourself a Merry Christmas [3:42]

Total: 13:30


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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Myrrh [Side B]


Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

2. Myrrh [Side B]

Myrrh was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an embalming oil meant to symbolize the mortal.

1. Ding! Dong! [0:56]
2. Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance! [3:50]
3. We Need a Little Christmas [2:03]
4. I am Santa's Helper [1:52]
5. Jingle Bells [1:19]
6. Santa Claus is Coming to Town [2:41]
7. Happy Family Christmas [1:23]
8. A Holly Jolly Christmas [2:27]

Total: 16:23


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Monday, December 17, 2012

A Sufjan Stevens Christmas - Myrrh [Side A]

Introduction
Over the course of 11 years, electro/folk artist Sufjan Stevens has recorded nearly 5 hours of Christmas music, spread out over 10 volumes.

I picked my favorites of the bunch and re-ordered them into 3 distinct "records."

Each "record" is laid out like a real LP and consists of two 15-20 minute "sides." Each record and side has its own unique feel.

1. Myrrh [Side A]

Myrrh was one of the three gifts given to Jesus at his birth. It is an embalming oil meant to symbolize the mortal.

1. Angels We Have Heard on High [0:46]
2. Put the Lights on the Tree [1:48]
3. It's Christmas! Let's Be Glad! [1:55]
4. Lumberjack Christmas / No One Can Save You from Christmases Past [3:22]
5. Sister Winter [5:05]
6. We Wish You a Merry Christmas [1:16]

Total: 14:10


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Sunday, December 16, 2012

Dexter - Season Seven

6.4
Dexter has always been the retarded cousin of premium channel television. We treat him like a normal show but deep down its clear it comes nowhere near anything on HBO's roster. Fortunately its not for lack of trying. This season aims to make up for six's meandering religious tirade that concluded with one of the worst "twists" of modern television and melodrama overblown even by Dexter standards.

But back to the positive. Season seven marks a fresh start and now that the writers set an end date for the series, we can finally start getting to the meat of the show. And now that Deb has seen the real Dexter, her scenes can start carrying actual weight. Its refreshing to get a new moral perspective on Dexter and her struggle with her brother's nature serves as a strong undertone. When things boil over in the season finale, it creates not only the most memorable episode of the season but the best conclusion in years.

The season's most interesting aspect details Dexter's relationship with his "dark passenger" and has been a long time coming. It is not dealt with until the final episodes of the season but carries great weight in the finale and foreshadows things to come. After all this time, Dexter allows himself to take responsibility for his actions and demystifies his ritual killing scapegoat. It is the most interesting thing that has happened on the show since Rita died back in season four.

For the most part, this season is no different from the latter half of the series in that the majority is badly written and useless to the core story. Another season, another love interest for Dexter. I appreciate the dynamic between two serial killers who don't have to hide from one another, but it leads to the season's most boring, cliche moments. The lowest of the low is easily Quinn (why the hell is he still on the show)'s relationship with a prostitute. The story of these two annoying lovebirds is soap opera dog shit played out with fake accents and the worst on-screen chemistry on Showtime (including all their late night softcore porn). The best part is, it literally goes nowhere.

Like the previous two seasons, I'm sure there is 6 episodes worth of solid material spread thin over each season's twelve hours. Thankfully the show got back on track and finally started delivering the dramatic goods built up for seven years. Best part is, the next season can only get better. With the end in sight, and a clear road ahead of them, perhaps the writers have saved the best for last.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Sinister


0.3
The worst movie of 2012. It is 90+ minutes of contrived dull fog that has to be the worst shot and lit movie of the year. Nothing is redeemable here. Bland, unmotivated acting moves daytime exposition scenes and ineffective nighttime scares to a “twist” ending that makes The Village look like Fight Club. The clunky cutout script is so dreadful, the film can’t even be enjoyed ironically. The high score is attributed to the fact that it simply exists.

That's My Boy

2.3

A new low for Sandler that everyone saw coming except for the star, who is quickly becoming Hollywood’s sinking ship. It is full of misplaced overly-crude humor that strikes hollow. There are no characters, only punchlines. There is no point covering the typical Hollywood tech specs, as they are in service of the humor. The biggest travesty of the film is a wasted Andy Samberg who reluctantly plays the straight guy to Sandler’s unbearable clown. In the best light, it is a 2-hour Budweiser ad.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

4.8

An immense disappointment when compared to the exciting movie promised in the title. Some overt style choices backfire and craft an image too full of contrast. Stark vampire hues make some scenes unintelligable. The few CG-reliant action set pieces could look nice in 3D but are few and far between. The film’s real fault is how serious the absurd concept is played. It is more concerned with the true history of Lincoln and has far too many exposition scenes for a movie named Vampire Hunter. This is especially unexpected coming from Timur Bekmambetov, the guy behind the 2008 fun romp Wanted. Still, the disappointing serious edge is handled better than expected. Performances are actually good here and the final action sequence is a fun 10 minutes. It is misguided but could have been a lot worse.

The Hunger Games

2.4

What could have played as a softcore American rip off of Battle Royale ended up a poorly-shot mess. It expected to make Harry Potter money off of a sloppy script and wretched tween acting delivered by the new vapid “It” faces of this generation. The epic scale expected of the next book-to-film cash cow is strangely restrained. Its a big budget Hollywood hit so expect shaky cinema verite complimented with a choppy, mashed editing style. 

The last half of the Harry Potter movies pushed the PG-13 kid movies to their extreme so its disappointing that none of the risque violence of the book feels as raw here. Without reading the book, I’m sure the movie is that much more incomprehensible, confusing and terrible. Sadly, there’s little hope for the coming sequels, despite a solid second book.

Piranha DD

1.1

The zany energy of the recent reboot is long gone here and from the moment the mishmash of scenes begins, so starts a downward spiral into the nexus of straight-to-video movies. All of but 8 minutes of the film are talking and when the gags do start, they are cheap and lazy. It fails to deliver on the little promise of horror thrills and nudity. Its plain to see no one involved in this film enjoyed making it or put any effort into it so why should we?

Trouble with the Curve

3.3

A family drama disguised as a baseball movie that only gets worse as it progresses. The winning concept of a grouchy, forgetful Clint Eastwood is stomped upon by a God-awful script that tries to connect as many dramatic cliches as possible. The last minute deux ex machina attempts to solve one of the many half-baked issues in an aimless, rambling script but sticks out like a sore thumb. Likewise, everything ends as it should in Hollywood and the stars literally ride off into the sunset, surely biting their tongues and counting their cash. It is as generic as they come but one of the best unintentional comedies of the year. 

The Expendables 2

2.2

An epic mess that bleeds money and lacks that threadbare splinter of intrigue to keep the plot moving. The unintelligible debacle of dialogue dribbles out of the beefy stars as they flex. It is also one of the most boring action movies to date. When the action finally does kick in, the questionable camerawork makes it impossible to get a clear idea of what is going on. A blunt Hollywood chill looms throughout, and is impossible to embrace, even ironically.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence 3D

2.8

Dynamic duo Mark Nevaldine and Brian Taylor’s big studio crossover  backfires into  a watered down studio movie that’s more eager to show off incompetent acting and dialogue than dazzling effects or engaging action. The effects do rarely shine and its refreshing to see Nick Cage slip into “beast mode” ever so often. Apart from one or two excellent camera gags and action tidbits, the shootouts and chases are just as bad as the rest of the film. The rest of the celluloid filth being an hour of convoluted plot explanations and horrendous child acting. Sadly, the cold truth is that the exciting new directing team took a huge misstep.

The Watch


1.4
The film had everything going for it but fails to deliver anything enjoyable or humorous. The solid cast are collectively flat and unfunny. Every lead’s worst side is magnified over the course of the film. Ben Stiller is grouchy while Vince Vaughn is at his most obnoxious. All signs point to a God-awful script that was reportedly rewritten multiple times. It shows as the tone shifts every 15 minutes. 

Mostly, the film focuses on the main character’s after-school-special problems, leaving very little for comedy or sci-fi. Richard Ayoade is the only player who delivers here and he is given minimal screen time. The film didn’t deserve the little attention it got and makes for the longest 80+ minutes of 2012.

The Main with the Iron Fists

2.0
A sad misstep from rap genius RZA tries its damnedest to look like a Kill Bill spin-off. A huge letdown in the year of letdowns, RZA’s film is ugly and incomprehensible. Everything, including the horrendously choreographed action sequences are shot poorly. The script makes no sense and only digs itself deeper as high-paid actors move in and out of the film, desperate to earn their indie cred and contribute to the joke. 

The biggest misstep is that the film fails miserably as a parody/tribute to Japanese cinema. There are few laughs spread throughout but I’m left wondering if RZA was in on the joke. The script is played ultra-serious and contains very few tell-tale film tributes or inside jokes. RZA’s leading performance in the film is downright disgusting. The entire film seems hellbent to make the rapper-come-director look cool. He is completely void of emotion and mumbles most of his lines. 

It’s clear that at some point, contributing filmmakers and actors realized the rapper was unwilling to compromise his misguided vision and followed through in making a deplorable film. Its a shame because on paper, this could have become a cult classic.

Lawless

6.4
If this flick proves anything, its that Shia LeBeouf can actually act. Of course, Tom Hardy acts circles around him but all parties involved end up coming off flat, mostly due to a lackluster script. All the pieces are in place for a functional period crime drama. Excellent actors, a hearty budget, good cinematography. The script aims to reach the complex heights of Boardwalk Empire, maneuvering a wide array of characters and moving plots. The human aspects behind all these intricate parts are weakly written and directed, keeping every part of the film from coming alive.

Despite poor direction, Tom Hardy, Jessica Chastain and Gary Oldman (making a brief cameo) auto pilot their way through a film that is way too long and sluggish. The real surprise here is Shia LeBeouf, who gives it his all and, more importantly tones down his signature annoyances that made everything before this unwatchable. While I don't buy his character progression, he is really good at playing the underdog fuck-up and comes away with his best performance to date.

On the other hand, Guy Pierce flubs the devious villain, instead delivering a hammy, weird role that translates all of the script's problems onto screen. Perhaps another editing pass would help reel the film in, chop out unnecessary subplots and give it focus. The film really falls off in the last ten minutes with an unnecessary epilogue that does much more harm than good. It leaves a sour taste lingering and confirms the blunder that the film turns out to be.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Dead & Breakfast

1.4
Who doesn't love a good horror/comedy? Since Sam Raimi turned the genre on its head, the genre mash-up has become a staple of American cinema. But here, even the independent spirit of the film cannot distract the film's glaring failures. On paper, the film has all the right pieces; gratuitous gore, slapstick laughs, etc. In every instance of comedy or horror it fails miserably. The jokes fall flat, the dialogue is cringe-worthy and most of the gore is mediocre. Ultimately, it is a key example of the difference between a good bad movie and just a plain awful one.

An endless list of missteps makes this film unbearable to watch. First off, the musical narration is grating and does nothing more than comment on scenes that just passed. The choice of music is notoriously bad, especially when it's chosen to be "clever." This is the worst kind of scene manipulation and is so blatant its gross. Raggedy swing music and deceptions don't mix, even if its meant to be ironically bad. The best gore in the film occurs during a chainsaw scene ripped straight from Evil Dead II. But horrendous hillbilly music ruins otherwise impressive effects. The worst of the bunch is a death metal singer screaming "Time to kill!!" while the killer works. This equates to little more than high school- level filmmaking.

The characters and performances are loony and horrid. The script seems both too heavy and too light simultaneously  Meaning, every character knows or eventually figures out what they have to do but despite half the running time comprising of exposition, the audience cannot keep up. The dialogue is cliche and strives to be more hip than it actually is. The one liners are especially cringe-worthy and one has to wonder if they harken back to a cut scene because in the context of the film, they make no sense. At the last moment, the film even abandons its own logic for the zombie/ghoul/whatevers. Characters go out of their way to explain that they can only die via head shots yet the main villain is stabbed to death in the heart.

Every facet of humor in the film tries way too hard and falls flat on its face..on a knife. Abrupt character twists and switches are due to a formulaic script. The film's mainstays are as likable and engaging as the characters who are introduced in one scene and slain the next. The putrid nature of the film carries over into its technical aspects as well. Blatant stylistic and editing choices are unmotivated and unwarranted. The only cinematic saving grace happens in the film's opening moments. The slightly blown-out 70's horror film look opens the film with strong visuals but disappears moments later and never returns. 

Just another example of throwing everything "viewers want" into the mix and getting a product that fails miserably. Of course, every bad nuance could be filed under the choice to make a deliberately bad movie and I'm not "in on the joke." Even successful bad movies require good direction and effort on all fronts. Dead and Breakfast misses its own punch line, never catching on to the fact that its not half as fun or clever as it pretends to be.



Sunday, December 2, 2012

The Comedy

7.1
In theory, The Comedy is a very interesting movie to watch. It is the apex of ironic comedy, fitting subject matter for both Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim. Every scene presents the same aging New York City hipsters pushing the definition of meta, ironic comedy.The scenes themselves are only funny to the characters and become increasingly tragic as we spend more time with the group of friends. Thus, the question at hand becomes, "When does comedy stop and tragedy begin?"

Tim Heidecker actually delivers a very impressive, controlled performance, unexpectedly internalizing his every change. His character is intriguing, even more so when he is alone with no one to lampoon for. The character becomes more interesting and deranged as we begin to discover he is unable to stop being ironic. When the sincerity of life is completely absent, what is left? The film is noteworthy for raising these questions and presenting caricatures of what has become the sarcastic generation. The real tragedy is that the characters may not be far off from reality.

Stephen Chbosky - The Perks of Being a Wallflower

9.5
It is my belief that this book is this generation's The Catcher in the Rye. Not to overstate the book's importance but it perfectly captures the teenage isolation and angst through the eyes of a new generation. Charlie, like Holden is impossibly emotional and raw, more or less encapsulating the imitate persona of our teenage years. The reason for the material's success is its treatment of every character, no matter the age or gender as real people with meaningful emotions. Every encounter is instantly relatable, full of age-appropriate gloom and ironic, truthful humor.

We slip into Charlie's shoes with ease and instantly sympathize with him. In the big picture, not much changes over the course of his first year in high school. But by focusing on the internal voice of a teenager in a constant state of change, we recognize the importance in his universal journey of growing up. The novel grasps the feel of our fleeting teenage years through simple prose and concrete situations. It celebrates the time in life where The Smiths were the voice of reason in a crazy, adult-run world. The underlaying truths of society seem to shine brightest during our high school years, and amongst the confusion we can later admit to knowing nothing and everything simultaneously. The teenage years are an emotional place everyone strives and dreads to return to and with his novel, author Stephen Chbosky provides the map.

Bob Spitz - The Beatles Biography [Audiobook]

9.0
The sprawling biography reads like a narrative, making it both endlessly entertaining and vastly inaccurate. Most Beatles diehards have written off this joyful read due to its bias and embellishment. This is perfect fodder for someone willing to trade entertainment for accuracy. Anyone vaguely familiar with the history of the band will recognize a pattern aligned to the interests of fans. Paul and John are given extensive introductions and remain at the forefront of the band, while Ringo's backstory is minimized. Likewise, the majority of detail is devoted to the band's beginnings overseas. The last third of the book reflects the melancholic demise of the band and is considerably less detailed. The result is a lopsided book which shifts its focus as the band's career progresses. For instance, we spend hours on the band's first records but the seminal Abbey Road and Let It Be albums are merely glanced over.

The book is very enjoyable to listen to and Spitz crafts an engaging narrative. Alfred Molina lends his fitting, British voice to the story and successfully keeps the listener's attention. For a biography, the book is never dry or boring. I learned a great deal about the band and its raw early shows, which were toned down and honed in years prior. I also learned that both "lead" Beatles John and Paul were both the two most important songwriters of their time and complete assholes. They cheated on their wives, disregarded their families and made terrible decisions. In other words, they were human. The most interesting aspect of the book is its devotion to the story of the people behind the Beatles. In telling the simple story of four guys who started a band, the author keeps the human aspect of the grandiose tale at the forefront. Therein lies its greatest strength.

Halloween

8.6
A unanimous horror masterpiece is rightfully the titular film to watch on the holiday. The film isn't flashy or blood-soaked or all that scary. The performances are too, nothing special. Still, its influence stretches across the genre, essentially creating the slasher flick. Noteworthy take-aways from the picture include the killer point-of-view camera and a stoic killer that left room for the audience to interpret the horror as they saw fit. In my opinion, the importance of the film stems from the setting of the film and how it was photographed. The true horror of the picture is the fact that it takes place in an ordinary neighborhood amongst rows of sleeping suburban families. Decades later, Paranormal Activity will find success using a similar concept.

The driving force of the film's horror is how suburbia is photographed. The film is seemingly lit entirely by in-house lamps and overhead lights. There is something raw and horrific about a killer illuminated by the very same desk lamps and porch lights in your own home. In essence, it makes the horror palpable and real. This effect culminates when Michael Myers tears open a family closet, lit by a stark overhead lightbulb. We recognize this closet as our own. The horror has invaded the one place we least expected. Our homes.

Beetlejuice

9.2
This may be the last great Tim Burton original. Highlights of his later work including Big Fish and Sleepy Hollow don't come close to the gothic delight spawned by Beetlejuice. The established Halloween classic injects fun into morose concepts such as death and the afterlife. Alec Baldwin and Gena Davis do well to carry the film until the titular Michael Keaton shows up. In retrospect, the title character has very little screen time and makes expert use of it to turn in a timeless, mesmerizing performance. The art direction and cinematography is the peak example of Burton's "look" and a joy to watch. The creature effects and make-up gags (especially the main characters' voluntary dismemberments) stand alone as cinematic achievements. The picture bleeds creativity and has rightfully become a modern classic.

Dan Deacon - El Rey Theater, Los Angeles, CA, 10/20/12

8.7
Dan Deacon is tired. His LA date comes weeks into his America tour. He is not reluctant to harp on this fact and it showed in his performance. Normally, Deacon has an infectious live energy, able to enthrall an entire room with his one-man show. But on Saturday night he brought backup in the form of a full ensemble band. The live instrumentation elevated the music to grandiose levels but dulled the spark between solo performer and audience.

The venue itself is one of the loosest and most intimate in town, giving the friendly audience ample room to move and shake to the band's electric whirr. The crowd worked as an understandable unit, moving together but reflected the band's depleted energy. Compared to other live acts, the show was fantastic but lacked that urgent sense of community only a participatory show like Deacon's can muster. That night, as the crowd jumped and sang together, each revelation or catharsis happened internally and mirrored the tone of America.

As with any Dan Deacon show, the fellow Baltimore openers are quirky and awful. These include a bone-dry Powerpoint comedian who fell flat and a forgettable rock act. A tongue-in-cheek guitar-rap duo picked up the pieces and warmed up the crowd, despite everyone saving their energy. Seconds after  the Dan Deacon ensemble took the stage, the room's energy exploded with a vivacious rendition of "The Crystal Cat." Musically speaking, the band was both tight and sprawling at once, flying through an America-heavy set. The first half highlights include a "Crash Jam" dance-off that blew the pants off the album's noisy racket.

The night lacked the cohesive crowd participation necessary for Deacon to do his thing so he cut the night's activities short midway through, deciding to focus on the music instead. For those familiar with the magic this playtime can create, this was a momentous let down. The second half bounced between Bromst and America and even included the first half of "Wham City." "True Thrush" and "Lots" leveled-up the audience to frightening heights, reassuring LA that the band still had fight left in them midway through their tour.

"Of the Mountains" calmed the sweaty tribal circus but still faltered due to clunky audience participation. The encore rightfully consisted of the 20-minute opus "USA" and played out as expected. By this point, the band seemed weary of such a feat but were grounded by an excellent drummer. When translated live, the album's highlight is easy to lose yourself in. It flew by and before I knew it, the show had ended. Looking back, it was an enjoyable way to spend a Saturday night but failed to reach the genuine joy Dan Deacon shows are capable of. Then again, maybe the LA stop in his America tour represents the norm.